Synchro

  I often look at myself, and can't meet the eyes because of the physical scars I’ve given myself, the universe has given me. Sometimes unable to process how did I get here, when did I get here, and longing for the answer when will I get out of this? I feel like my life only made sense when I was with you, every moment, each comment, every conversation we had was worth living a thousand times more than living the after version. But who am I to blame other than myself right? Because that’s all I can do, to give myself an assurance that maybe I’ve become a monster.I blame the universe for putting me in such position from where I can not whisper your name everytime I need someone to hold onto, every battle, every pain, each tear has to be fought alone like a soldier, and here I was thinking to be a prince, how foolish of me. I believe this battle has made me a monster now, I am not a prince I was hoping I’ll become one day, but a monster who has to act tough in each situation, take ev...

                                     I’m a MONSTER You were the chaos, I were the peace but somehow I am battling demons in cease I know you can teach me every move, every step, you can gurantee but you choose to leave my sinking ship and I choose to believe because your courage slip my friends call me light witted as what you say, they admitted perhaps I don’t know why it is hard for me to see the “truth” ,  as they perceive maybe because I was always meant to be the one that always see through humanity I know people as they are, even when they try so hard to be the one that they are not I have been the one that helps people even if I try, I can not become a demon because I might not talk too much, As I listen from the heart that touch you were right about the fun part, can’t expect from the one with a heavy past, oh, forgot about the burden you said you were right ...

I’ll love you endlessly, Until time bleeds breathlessly, The star fades to ember, The ocean dries to dust, Till my breath erases your name, Yet, in the silence of universe, You hear my heart beat for you.                                                                 - Synchroblogs

The second last blog  “This is my last blog” I always feel like writing this, before starting to write my next blog. But I always end up with second last, is it my position in your life or what? Well, jokes apart I guess it will forever be the second last for me, I’m stuck in this loop, don’t know how long I can be there, but as long as I can be in it, I’ll stay. Too much audacity ain’t it?  "Tact in audacity is knowing how far you can go without going too far."  said by Jean Cocteau, interesting right, near but not touching the boundary, in simple words if I may explain. So, what is the definition or limitation of “near” ? I guess in my words I can say that not hurting the person or intervening in their life, that’s my limit, that’s my near. All I know that your boundary is my art and it could whisper through your thick walls, audacity would be me breaking through your walls. However, at the end of the day, the stage yours, plot yours, story yours however you want to exp...

  One-sided love Have you ever thought about the meaning of one-sided love, or how it feels to be in one? I'm pretty sure everyone once in their life time been in such heart wrenching situation name one-sided love. It is a feeling of life time that happens without your knowing however, never stops and even if in the rarest case it ever stops, the mark leaves you broke enough to never be able to fall in love again.  Being in this situation, where you see the other person hanging out with someone else and you hope for that one moment where they give you chance to prove yourself in their eye. Because in your mind they deserve the world, someone so precious that deserves the nurture and love that only you can give. Nevertheless to say when it grows for longer than the period you expected years after years, it becomes an undeniable urge to just see the person a second. It is something that makes you forget about your past, the highs and lows where you might have missed your chance ...

THOSE EYES It felt like the 4th of July, maybe because it was the month of July, but that's not what I mean, I mean that specific day felt like a 4th of July with all the fireworks, sparkles in the eye, like the sky is full of parole and pink shades. It was crazy how a mundane morning of July could feel like a breezy evening of 4th of July. But, I felt it, now what changed that day? I would say my whole life. Tara, the girl who had a crush on me, merely just a girl with a curious  nature and pretty eyes. I'll never in a million years would understand how in this universe she landed her eyes on me, out of all the guys. In school, I was just a guy who was trying to survive throughout each class, dealing with my own insecurities and family issues. In the midst of all that, her presence every day in class was like satisfaction to my eyes, every day. I just never allowed myself to be near her, as I didn't want to burden her with my troubles, but meanwhile I wanted to be with her...